The "G" Rap

This rap is based on "G" a former co-worker:

yo my name g, i think you know dat
i roll with the e, people call me fat
which i be cuz i eat use the tray
when food was free, i get fourths, yay
sometimes fifth, just like a king
i chill but usually its heat i bring
lemme tell ya about a situation
rollin in the ride, havin conversation
on my yellow razr like sharapova
yakkin non stop when i see a impala
i swerve but it still hit me
my ride got wreck, but i'm alive, see
got broken joints, in a hospital stay
now back to the job, to get my pay
ain't got no ride so i take the bike
lance armstrong i ain't, but i'm fit, right
yea, bike home one night and got hit
from behind by a ride, sup wit dat hits
hit and run, so i sprawl on the street
got up and walked, i really felt beat
tossed the bike, and began to stride
all of a sudden someone offer me a ride
which the g accepted, opened the door
entered, and sat, the driver said let's go
little did i know, about to get jack
why this happen to me, that's just wack
my wallet got taken but i aint dead
tossed me to the side, bang my head
on the road, but no gobbets of brain
as i got up it started to rain, what a pain
in the backside, or better yet call it ass
can't wait to get home, come full blast
like supersoaker, in honor of the worker
that i eat wit, for sure, not a lurker
go to the casino one day, I be gamblin'
then sit on a table, doin' my eatin'
all you can eat, hard boiled eggs
i get ten of those, starin' at the legs
of the marilyn monroe wannabe, singin'
but not in the rain like kelly, i fill my belly
with the free food, nachos with greasy beef
free coke and sprite, it's just like the reef
in the theme park i hang out at every sunday
night, and then i do the take flight
read my rights, but not getting arrested
the g got the years, call it fully vested
bulletproof like superman can't be shot
got me the brand new ride and it's hot
i race, i drift, but not fast and furious
it's the blue neon, and people curious
to see if the g drive slow, to a crawl
i say hell no i drive it real fast, y'all
got the big sobe, and the gatorade rain
when I chill in the cut to stop the pain
that i got when i got bruised back then
ain't happnin' no mo, and the g is in
all in, like the tiles, arrange it like tetris
g take the day off, chill like atlantis
time to play golf, go to eastwood
see people playin' there and they no good
got my equipment from target, not big lots
i hit the links and I quit after two shots
hit the clubhouse for some lunch
order everythang on the menu, and some punch
which i drink but it ain't gatorade
so after gobbling up my meal i went to the shade
where my neon be parked at, drove to the gas
got the gatorade rain and my ac full blast
realy hot weather perfect for the beach
so i drive to cocoa, head for the streets
no beach towel, should i shoplift
of course, i do, go to the five and dime
but i realized i don't need to commit a crime
once again, the "g" is mackadocious
rollin' wit' the gatorade, atrocious
flavor call it rain like the weather
but not a merchant, like natalie
the g is just a casualty
of people getting placed in other queues
ain't down with this, i should refuse
to engage in this but need to get paid
in the weekend go to cocoa, get laid
and gamble in the sterling, and sun cruz
the "g" once wore them county blues
but only for a misdemeanor
you best believe, i'm the superior
just like the lake up north
where i'm from, back and forth
front, back, side to side, like a line dance
i'm hangin' wit' the other g's
and lookin' for the romance
hope to get with the other worker
which I dig, but not like a gravedigger
my ride is awesome, the blue neon
saw a FSU jersey in oviedo, a deion
sanders number 2, but I'm no. 1
it's 8 o clock now time to have fun
get to my favorite joint, call it target
and get me some ales, from the market
ain't no clearly canadian, it's real
gettin' drunk from it so what's the deal
with people who poke fun at my drink
don't need to raise no stink, and sink
to that level, which is low right now
don't force me to make my gat go bl-ow
no gumbo with okra for me, it's sick
so sirloin burger i get thirds, so thick
but here's a trick put one in the bun
the other two below, so i don't spend
a ton, it's camouflaged, container is black
so I eat three and don't get no flak
from the people I eat with, it's cool
used to be free, and that really rule
but i got dough anyways, so i spend
never save it for a rainy day, and then
I gamble of course, never a jackpot
stay clear of stores just like a big lot
which I ain't down, paint the face
like a clown, call it bozo, i froze yo
when it's cold, i use the space heater
straight out of goodwill, follow the leader
like playing trains in the basement
see those haters I toss em in the pavement
laugh out loud, or better yet cackle
when "g" attack it's just like a tackle
from lawrence taylor, and i'm a major
not minor like nbdl, so what the hell
you talkin' 'bout talkin' down to the "g"
it never cease to amaze me
how some act like this, people dis
and I let it go out the other ear, it miss
my auditory canal, and my sound waves
transformers from the 80's with the tapes
one day left the billfold in the desk
i stress but it's cool cuz nobody mess
wit' dat, or else g rearrange the face
get resconstructive like the man rudy t
in the good old 7-0, that's who you be
then i see someone take it, and all my cash
so i dash, in time to see the fool stash
my money in the fridge for some reason
so i snatched it, just like a treason
spent it right away bought more ales
it's too much i weight it on the scales
more than a hundred like the food i ate
i want the 4-0 go to the next state
but all they got is 36's not enough
why the hell are they makin' it tough
for the g to get the formula, the brew
best decide on what i gotta do
get outta this zoo, call it sanford
on the web saw disney tickets, not bradford
cove, i don't represent the thug
should i get magic kingdom and a new mug
which I do, get a ticket, hit the theme park
maybe get the worker with me, light a spark
but not a firework from the fourth of july
neon headed to disney world, and that's why
i act like this, because of the mouse
watch disney channel when i be in the house
now, it's all good, ridin' the teacups
after eatin' ten burgers, but no throw-ups
haunted mansion time, maybe i can let loose
thinkin' of the worker, hell i got the fuse
doombuggy broke down and i'm strokin'
use the mickey ice cream wrapper, and wipin'
the evidence, just like insurability
ride starts again, are they out to get me
don't think so cuz the g slick
wake up in the morning and shave with bic
time to get the trick, exit sex tampa bay
i see one, say hey, like willie may
but it cost too much so i gotta beg
dancin' on the road, and hurtin' my leg
now it's all bout the thirst and quench it
gatorade is where it's at, and drink it
i want purple, just like lakers
the team i root for, so no haters
allowed, get loud, get wild, and proud
like the family, or better yet the riverboat
just chillin' with the sobe in the flask
see the white board and it list the task
that needed to be done and it says shop
look for clothes, bigger than hip-hop
use the net, but i wanna go to thrift co.
people poke fun, and i just say hell no